I recently read an article by Kerry Patterson of VitalSmarts in his monthly “Kerrying On” column about how highly workers value a little appreciation. I learned a long time ago the value of being specific in the praise you provide to others. A general “good job” has much less impact than “Thanks for helping me create those charts for the presentation. That made a huge difference in the quality and saved me a lot of time. I appreciate your willingness to help out and share your expertise.” Yet we often don’t take the few extra seconds to be specific about praise.
I hope you’ll indulge this personal example. When my son Bryan was in fourth grade, we went to a parent-teacher conference and heard his teacher explain how helpful Bryan was with other students in the class. When we got home, I was talking to Bryan and told him, “Your teacher told us how happy she is that you’re willing to help other students in the class. Mom and I appreciate that, too. It shows that you’re trying hard to learn, and it’s a great example to other students when you’re willing to help the teacher like that. Thanks for being the kind of person who wants to help others.” Bryan walked over to me, put his arms around me, and said, “I love you, too, Dad.” Note that I didn’t use the words “I love you, Bryan,” in this conversation. But that’s exactly what he heard when he received specific praise about his performance.
While we may not want co-workers to think “I love you,” the message that comes with genuine, specific praise is one people crave. You are valued. You are important. You belong here. That’s a message that people cannot hear enough, whether they are your employees, your family members or your neighbors. When you praise, praise specifically. The results are worth the few extra seconds it takes.
